How will you react when faced with a stimulus or trigger event (for example, your husband or wife cheats and then leaves you for someone else)?

A. Focus on all the things that are wrong in your life and with everyone else around you. Believe that someone else is to blame for the circumstances that happened in your life.

B. Take responsibility for your obstacles or challenges and see them as opportunities to further refine your life plan and vision.

If you choose “A,” you have a Victim mindset, while if “B” is your choice, you have a Creator mindset.

The idea that taking responsibility for what your husband or wife did will probably not sit well with you or to some people. You might feel that you have the right to blame him and the person who took him away from you. They caused you pain and sorrow. Yes, you have the right to feel that you are the victim (with a small “v”). But, if you allow that event to ruin your life, then you are a Victim (with a capital “V”)

It is not what happens to us that determines whether we are a Victim or a Creator, but rather our reaction to what happens. We have a choice in how we interpret what happens and in what we choose to do about it,

The difference between being a Victim or a Creator is our mindset.

When you have a Creator mindset, you see multiple options. You choose wisely among them and take effective actions to achieve the life you want.

On the other hand, a Victim mindset prevents us from seeing and acting on choices that could help us achieve the life we want.

Choice is the key ingredient of responsi-bility – we are responsible for our ability to make the right or wrong choice.

In reality, we all consciously or unconsciously choose to be the Victim or the Creator at various points in our life. It is up to us to catch ourselves when we feel that the Victim mindset is setting in and to reframe it into a Creator mindset.

Below is a contrast between the two mindsets. It is not exhaustive, but it will help in reframing the Victim mindset into a Creator mindset. 

So the next time you’re tempted to whine, complain, or blame others you felt did you wrong, pause for a moment. Reflect upon it.  Seek to understand if it is well-founded and if it is serving you well to think that way.